This page contains wisdom…well, things we’ve learned about having a child that we think all parents and would be parents could benefit from knowing.
PREGNANCY
Mums… Big pants are good, small pants are bad, well when you start to get big anyhow, the hipster type are just so uncomfortable and I know big pants don’t look so great but when comfort is your main goal believe me go with the big ones.
Unless you want every Tom, Dick and old lady touching your ever growing belly, think up an excuse that you can use for when they approach you with arms stretched, ‘Please don’t , I’ve become really ticklish since I became pregnant’ or I saw some t-shirts with ‘don’t touch the bump’ on them, not sure if they have the desired effect though as I didn’t get one, but my little brother did get me a ‘its not over ’til the fat lady screams’ T, that certainly got me a few looks.
Buy yourself a ladyshave, if you don’t already have one, ‘cos you get to a point where its literally impossible to shave your legs with a razor.
Maternity bras, just buy a couple as you don’t need them for long, I found marks and spencers ones were not badly priced and you can get a pack of 2 one black and one white for about the price you’d normally pay for one.
Get a diary, I found ‘The best friends guide to pregnancy diary’ which gave me something to look forward to each day, as well as giving you your own diary to fill in with things that are happening to you which you can look back at and smile, it gives you hints, tips and funny things to read each day of your pregnancy, theres also a book to accompany it but if youv’e got the diary the book reads pretty much the same so unless you’re a big reader, stick with the diary.
Dads…Be patient and always be the one to back down. Don’t take it personally, its just the hormones speaking
CHILDBIRTH
Mums…
Have an idea of what you want but be prepared to just go with the flow (if thats not a bad expession under the circumstances..)
Plan your route to the hospital before hand, avoid speed humps, they’re no fun when you’re having contractions, for instance, the road through Kitt green and Marsh green is not a good choice for anyone that knows it, we found out the hard way.
I wanted to stay at home as long as possible, then have loads of drugs, an epidural was at the top of my list of must haves, I didn’t want to birth on my back and I wanted a waterbirth, all these I put in my birth plan… once I started to labour I didn’t want a pool, I lay on my side for the entire labour, only had gas and air ‘cos the thought of a needle terrified me at that point and when it was time I moved onto my back for the birth. The only thing that I originally wanted that I did was to stay at home ’til i couldn’t bear it anymore and 4 and a half centimeters aint bad.
Dads…
Buy a ticket and take a ring-side seat for the ride of your life. It’s a totally awesome experience so DON’T whimp out and DO stay for the kick-off and see it ALL the way through to penalties!
I did the birthing thing with the midwife, her on one leg and me on the other and I’m soooo glad I was involved and down the action-end as I can honestly say that I have never experienced anything quite so amazing as childbirth!
Cutting the cord is not an earth-shatteringly-different event it’s a bit like cutting tough bacon but still it’s there and I can say I did it and I’m glad I did, you’re more focussed on the alien that just landed and what’s going on in mums-world at the time. Maybe it would seem more if you gave it a half hour or so to sink in but I don’t think that’s an option.
CLOTHING .for your bambino..
You here people say ‘oh they grow so fast’ and its so true, we got clothing bundles from ebay, hand-me downs and charity shop, carboot and jumble sale stuff, you get things at a percentage of the price and in the main its all good stuff.
Try to get colours you wear yourself or all similar colours for your little angel. its makes washing so much easier which is a daily occcurance btw.(all white / all blue etc)
Jogging bottoms are easy to get on and off when your starting out and they seem to be more comfortable than jeans.
Tops get them with press studs round the neck, it just means that theres no squishing little heads through gaps that are only just big enough for them.
FIRST WEEKS
Food for you…try and build up a stock of good quick food for the weeks after the arrival because its hard to find time to think and sleep never mind eat, quick cook pastas are good with stir in sauces or pesto and stuff you’ve made yourself and thrown in the freezer or you’ll find you end up living on take away which can get very boring.
Ask for friends and family to stay away for the first few weeks after the initial meeting and greeting of the new family member just ’til you get on your feet, its nice to have time to yourselves to enjoy your new family without waiting for the next decent of visitors.
You’ll need a strong constitution if they’re a cryer and you havn’t got a clue, which we didn’t, have back-up, around the 2 hour mark is about as long as we could each stand befoe feeling like total overload, so please don’t try to do it alone, you will go mad.
Also even if you don’t intend to use dummies they are miricale workers for a bit of peace so get a few in before the main event but beware, stopping your baby wanting a dummy is extremely difficult.
Ladies… if you’re breast feeding, trial and error is all I can say, breast pads, if you want to use disposable one’s get tommee tippee ones, they’re a decent size, have a sticky backing so stay in place and as long as you keep an eye on them are pretty absorbent.
Another must is nipple cream, I went for 2 weeks with blisters, bleeding and cracked nipples but I got through it only with the help of nipple cream.
SLEEPING (them not you)
Scrap all these so called ‘get your baby in a routine’ things, follow your childs natural sleep patterns/body clock, its so much easier to get them to sleep if they want to go to sleep, than to try a routine from someone who hasn’t got the first clue about your child, all babies are different, and if you can’t resist temptation to have a go, good luck.
…and you…the whole sleep when they sleep thing. I tried it but by the time you’ve stopped thinking, the house is a mess and what if i don’t wake when they do…they’re awake again, grab sleep when you can thats all the advise I have, BUT be prepared to be physically and mentally exhasted for the first couple of months until they get into some kind of routine.
EQUIPMENT
Microwave steam sterilizer, you can also you them to cold sterilize if you go away and don’t have the use of a microwave, they sit in your microwave out of the way not taking up any space on your worktop and are quick and easy to use. Ours is Tommee Tippee and takes just 6 mins.
Tommee Tippee wide necked bottles, they have a outlet for trapped air that reduces colic, which belive me is no fun for anyone if they get that.
Cots, we chose one of the cheapest on the market from mothercare, with a drop down side so you can get to your little one easily, 3 base positions so it will do them ’til they’re big enough for a bed but unfortunatly you’ve gotta buy the matress seperatly which is a big chunck of money but money well spent if its gonna last we reckon.
A vibrating ‘bouncing’ chair, (not the rocking type) they work wonders for getting them to sleep and giving you time to relax your arms, if they’re not for being put down whilst you eat and you can bounce them with your foot, Andrew loved his.
Bibs, we found the best ones were the plastic backed ones so when they’re sick it doesn’t soak straight through to their clothes and a full change being necesarry long for the same reasons and velcro fastening because ties are just a nightmare to do alone and with one hand.
Sleepingbags/ grobags, brilliant for little kickers, basically they keep them covered when otherwise blankets would be somewhere down the bottom of the cot or like you don’t want, over their heads. they come in all different togas but basically if you have a washer dryer, 2 of each tog is enough, for when its really warm 0.5 tog. warm weather 1.tog and 2.5 tog for when its cold and they come with a guide so you know what to dress them in depending on the temperature. The ones that zip round the side and bottom are better than the ones that zip down the middle as they’re easier to change nappies if you need to.
Grobag egg/ room thermometer, its good to know the temperature at a glance and with the grobag egg it lets you know with colours too and it acts as a night light, so its handy when you go in to feed them in the middle of the night.
Video moniter, they’re expensive but you can see exactly whats going on when you hear them make a noise. Ours is by ‘Summer’ from argos.
Baby sense 2 sensor, basically its an alarm system that goes under your babies matress so that if your baby stops breathing at the correct rate an alarms sounds and you can get to them sooner rather than later. Not an essential but something that put our minds at rest, its advertised ‘so you can sleep whilst your baby does’ very true. We found them on the internet.
A pram which has a car seat that you can attatch to it, great for getting baby out of the car without waking them, especially if youve just spent an age getting them off to sleep.
We looked at the 3 wheeler style prams and we’re so glad we didn’t get one, I see mums struggling with them getting in and out of shops through small gaps and up and down steps as stability on one wheel isn’t their strong point.
Also isofix fittings are great, they save all that messing around with seatbelts when its cold and/or wet out but you do need the fitments already in your car to use them, newer cars seem to have them as standard these days.
Travel cot, we wanted lightweight and compact for traveling, surely thats what really matters, but we didn’t like the thought of Andrew sleeping in one of these tent style things that are just plonked on the floor. There are some really heavy ones out there, we found the best to be the Oomo lightweight travelcot, just 7kg, L100x W70x H75cm. Available at John Lewis
Nappies, we’ve found huggies are the best, they seem the softest round babies legs and absorbent enough to cope with a full 12 hour night time stint.
Recently we’ve got Andrew an activity centre to build up the strength in his legs, its like the old baby walker but without the wheels which are pretty dangerous, I’ve heard a few people say that they’ve gone over with the child in them, also door bouncers just jolt their little legs so the activity centres seem a much better idea, we got the leap frog activity centre, but there’s also a baby einstien one but that was about £20-£30 more expensive. Andrew loves it and it gives you some time off while they entertain themselves.
Bottle warmers, a great idea you would think but don’t bother, you’re much better filling the kettle or taking a flask with you for traveling, theres a specially designed flask for babies bottles by fisher price that come with a large beaker for bottles but we’ve found that it loses heat really quickly so we use a metal flask with metal top/cup to keep the heat in and beaker of our own.
Muslin squares, or rectangles, the bigger the better. Asda do their own which are quite big. They’re really good for loads of things, usse them over your shoulder for when you’re burping after a feed, using as extra protection for in the cot for putting under babies head so that when they’re sick it saves having to change the full matress cover, as a bib and mop up for feeds and when you’re little one is to big for all that, muslins make great dusters.
High chairs, oh the trauma, finally we’ve found the one by Mamas & Papas, the Prima Pappa Evo, its sturdy, alot just seem unsafe, it can be used from 4 months of age (most are 6 months), its pretty light weight, easy to assemble, has adjustable seat and height and a removable slop tray. Unless you’ve spent an hour or more trying all these things on the market you won’t fully appreciate the word easy when used in conjunction with high chairs, so hopefully this snippet will save you the krypton factor esk hour that we spent testing them all.
This one went up and went down first attempt and passed the Andrew test first time too, he was happy to sit in it right away.
Nappy cream, we’ve tried a few and ‘bepanthen’ seems the best and quickest for healing sore bums, it leaves a barrier on the skin so it seems to protect and heal so much better than the old favourite sudocrem
Milk/Formula, (If you’re bottle or tandem breast and bottle feeding) If you’ve got all the time in the world and you’re timing if spot on to make up formula from powder, great but we found the ready made stuff so much easier, when your baby starts to get hungry and you’ve gotta boil up fresh water, wait for it to cool for half an hour, make it up then let it cool further so that your child can have their feed it all seem a bit like hard work for the few extra quid it costs over the month.
We use cow and gate ready made formula, available in 200ml and 500ml cartons and once opened keeps for upto 24 hours in the fridge.
Blackout curtains, a must! get them from argos, cheap and nasty but they do the job what more can you ask for.
To be continued…
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